


Her One Weakness

by little_ruby



Category: Battlestar Galactica, Battlestar Galactica (2003), Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-11
Updated: 2013-03-11
Packaged: 2017-12-05 01:08:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/717124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/little_ruby/pseuds/little_ruby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was an act of rebellion against the woman sleeping next door. Laura had hoped that it would make her feel better if she defied her, but she felt even worse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Her One Weakness

**Author's Note:**

> a while ago I made [this](http://xlittlerubyx.tumblr.com/post/41300666487/screencap-meme-janeway-and-roslin-tickles-my) and I just couldn't fight the urge to try and write something for it.

Watching the smoke curling around her, Laura knows that she shouldn’t be doing this. But after the fight, she couldn’t just lie down and sleep next to her. So she got up, as quiet as possible and sneaked into the bathroom to light one of her last cigarettes. She still remembers Kathryn’s face when she found the cigarettes in Laura’s jacket, the distaste written all over it. 

‘You know, there haven’t been these kinds of cigarettes in over 200 years. They really aren’t good for your health.’

‘I know that, but sometimes, when I’m in distress, I just need one.’

Kathryn had just shrugged her shoulders and never mentioned them again. But Laura knew that she disapproves of this habit. And maybe that is also a reason why she is now standing in the bathroom, smoking. It was an act of rebellion against the woman sleeping next door. Laura had hoped that it would make her feel better if she defied her, but she felt even worse. The fight had been her fault, she knows that, but it was hard for her to acknowledge that. She had tried to manipulate Kathryn just because they were sleeping together, but of course she had failed. Kathryn had known all along what she was up to, because even though they only knew each other for a short time, the other woman could read Laura as if she were an open book. No one had ever been able to do that. Not even Bill. Thinking about Bill, Laura had to hold onto something to not break down. She missed him, missed all of them. Kara, Lee, her fleet, hell, even Dr. Baltar. But they are out of her reach and there is nothing that she can do about it. Not even persuade her lover to go ahead with a crazy plan that could get them all killed.

_Would I really consider going through with this plan if it could get this crew killed? Could I live with this burden?_

She looks into the mirror, sees the glowing end of her cigarette and tears running down her cheeks. Her hands tremble while she puts the cigarette out in the basin and lets the water flow over it and her hands. She tries to wash away the taint that she sees on them. The taint of guilt, of her own betrayal to these people, to Kathryn. 

‘Laura?’

Her heart stops for a second when she hears her voice, even huskier from sleep, but still more fragile than she has ever heard before.

‘I’m here. I…I’ll be right out.’

Splashing cold water through her face to try to hide her tear stained face, she grimaces when that shows no affect. When she comes out of the bathroom, Kathryn has already left the bed, standing in front of the windows and staring out onto the endless stars surrounding them.

‘You smoked, didn’t you?’

There wasn’t a reproachful tone in her voice, it sounded more like she was just telling a fact. But there was also a hint of disappointment, but only a hint. Kathryn is just too good at hiding her emotions. 

‘Kathryn…I…’

‘No, don’t. Do not apologize for something that you obviously wanted to do. Otherwise you wouldn’t have waited until I fell asleep.’

Laura looked up to stop another wave of tears rolling down and took a deep breath. She knows that she should apologize, not for the smoking, but for everything else. Her betrayal, her behavior. But she can’t. Her emotions are a turmoil, she doesn’t know anymore what she wants, what she needs. She misses her old life, her people, Bill, but she also knows that she would miss Kathryn if she got back to Galactica. Because this woman has found a way into her thoughts, her heart in a manner that not even Bill did. And so all Laura can do is sack to the floor and let her tears fall freely, to cry for everyone and everything that she lost and to cry because of the guilt that she seems to have found love in all this mess that is her life. 

When Kathryn looks down at her, she tries to hide her tears, even though she is sobbing loudly now. She doesn’t want her pity, nor does she want her forgiveness, because she thinks that she doesn’t deserve it. She is ready to abandon her people, to not fight Kathryn anymore over it, because she loves her. But she can’t allow herself to do just that. If she doesn’t fight for her people anymore, who is she? So she pushes Kathryn away, scrambles to her feet and runs to her own quarters, vowing to herself that she won’t let herself love the most intriguing woman she has ever encountered, because it is a weakness she can’t be allowed to have.


End file.
